How to Stay Ahead of Crises when Caring for Aging Parents

Have you seen the commercial, “Calgon, take me away?” We see a stressed-out woman dreaming of some relaxing time alone in a tub full of bubbles. Perhaps there is a toddler in the house, and it feels like she’s running around trying to rescue her charge from one disaster or another. Aside from a bubble bath, if she doesn’t take precautions to stay ahead of the game (or toddler in this case) she ends up exhausted and frustrated. That’s just not good for anyone.

Likewise, when caring for aging parents, we may find ourselves going from one crisis to another. She or he may take a tumble or need a geriatric specialist, or you may suddenly need to go out of town and have no one to step in and continue care. You may find yourself in a flurry of emotions like frustration, fear, exhaustion, anger, or helplessness.

Take some time before you are in crisis mode to research options, make contingency plans, and get ahead of the game. Look into ways to make life more easily manageable for yourself and the person for whom you care.

Ways to head off crises:

1. Research available options for caregiving assistance, respite care, assistive devices (devices that help make daily chores safer and more achievable), local adult day care programs, and geriatric care managers and pharmacies.
2. Learn about the condition the person you care for has. Know what to expect—how might the condition progress? Are there ways to combat certain potential effects? Establish an open and honest communication with health care providers and caregivers so that everyone is working together.
3. Look for articles from reputable sources with advice for creative ways to care. Ask your local librarian to help you find books about caregiving. Support groups are a great source of information from people who have been where you are.
4. Have a backup plan ready. Consider the ‘what if’s.’ This circles back to the first point. By having researched care options, you will be less likely to be looking for care in a panic situation. Familiarize yourself with area hospitals, rehab facilities and care communities.
5. Discuss your loved ones’ wishes with them. Making sure that there is documentation of these wishes can help ease tensions when issues arise. Create living wills and advance directives. Aging with Dignity has created a wonderful resource called Five Wishes, for documenting how a person wishes to be cared for.

When caring for aging parents, education and advanced planning = better decisions. And better decisions means less stress. Less stress = more happiness. It’s a quality of life issue. Do yourself a favor and take the time to do these things to stay a step ahead.