I have always loved holiday traditions.

Some of my fondest memories center around family holiday traditions: putting up the tree, hanging stockings, giving and receiving gifts, and going to church. Unfortunately, as my parents aged many of those traditions changed.  They got pushed aside due to health concerns.  It’s hard having loved ones with you who are unable to participate in activities they used to enjoy.  As my parents’ health worsened, I became the one who had to orchestrate everything—from Christmas cards from my family and from my parents, to all of the gift shopping, gift wrapping for everyone, and taking care of all of the holiday decorations.  Add in the day-to-day responsibilities of taking care of both my kids and my parents, and I will confess that sometimes it was overwhelming.

Let it go.

Sometimes it made the holidays less fun, and kind of stressful. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect.  Of course I did.  I’m a type A personality with a penchant for taking on a lot at one time. And things must be just so. Sometimes they weren’t.  Usually, they weren’t.  Part of what I’ve had to learn is to let go.  To not expect everyone, including myself, to always live up to my expectations; to learn to accept what each person can give, and what they can’t.  It hasn’t always been easy—it’s brought me to tears more than once or twice. But holiday traditions should enhance our enjoyment of the season, not make it difficult.

My dad’s last couple of Christmas holidays were magical.  I miss him dearly, but I think I finally got it right.  We got enough support, and did just the important things. We simplified. Decorations were put out, but not to a huge extent.  We reined in the gift giving chaos. Wrapping was done by Amazon and delivered to my doorstep.  We focused on the meaning of the season, with a grateful heart.

I learned to accept the changes that were happening and understood that there were very few Christmases left with dad.  I had to enjoy every minute I was given and focus on what was really important.  Doing that helped and made some beautiful memories. I wish the same for you.

Do you have suggestions for simplifying the holidays? Please share them in the comment area below. I’d love to hear them.